I have to confess to a rather strange belief. Actually, it’s rather like believing in magic, and I squirm a bit writing about it, as if I said I believe in tooth fairies or Father Christmas. But I still want to share it, I’m curious to find out if other people have the same experience.

I find that if I have a daily spiritual practice, I tap into a wider wisdom that guides me in a way that works for me as well as for others around me.
Over various periods of time in the past, I have practiced transcendental meditation and reiki, but for the past four years I have turned to kundalini yoga, and for me it seems to work at a faster rate.
Every morning I get up between 30 and 90 minutes before my day starts, and practice physical exercises, or sets, and meditation. I’m very disciplined, I’d rather miss out on an hour of sleep than an hour of yoga. I’m taking no chances: I’ve been in a place where I felt completely disconnected from myself and didn’t have any meaning in my life in spite of all the obvious signs of success, I’m not going back there in a hurry if I can help it. And I’ve been observing some positive changes within myself, but also around me. And I’m slowly coming to believe what our yoga teacher Hari Har Ji said at teacher training last year.

That if we connect ourselves to our inner voice, or intuition, or higher self, whatever you want to call it (you might even call it God), we tap into a very elaborate stream of wisdom, an organic intelligence. One that connects everything and everyone, in the same way as ecosystems are all inter-related in nature (as we’re only starting to understand).
This wisdom is far greater than we can ever comprehend, it’s not even worth trying to grasp it, it’s only looking back that we can start to understand why and how things unfolded.

And the more I let go and allow intuition to guide my life, the more things seem to fall into place for everyone’s benefit. It’s a huge act of faith. I have to trust this inner voice when it tells me to make decisions that can be scary, or even painful for myself and others. Some have been very painful. But it felt right, and there’s nothing like the calm and serenity that come with the feeling that something is right. It feels like being in the centre of oneself, no matter if there’s a maelstrom going around that centre.

The other strong feeling that comes out of this morning hour of yoga is a feeling that we all belong to something bigger, effectively, that we’re all loved for who we are, and that this something bigger than us will help us be whatever we are. In the same way as oaks are needed to the ecosystem as much as the dainty daisy, and they don’t spend hours agonising over whether they should be an oak or a daisy, if we tap into who we are in our essence, things become very simple. It’s only our insecurities that blur the picture (will I get approval, enough money, etc). It’s on those insecurities that the spiritual practice works on.

It’s very valuable, this feeling of being loved by a universal source of love. It makes me less needy, and less resentful when I don’t get love or empathy from where I’d want it. It’s surprising how it can come from other places, if only I allow myself to be open to it. Sometimes from complete strangers. Always from being outdoors, just a walk or sitting outside can do the trick. I haven’t figured this one out yet, but there is a huge feeling of connection and love that comes from being in nature, this feeling of being part of something bigger and of belonging.
It’s as if in the same way as plants mine for minerals in the soil thanks to mycelium, an intricate network of fungus which sends filaments all around the plant, by being outdoors we tap into an invisible network that connects us to all living things surrounding us.

Of course, we have the complete choice to ignore this inner voice, and make any decision, maybe much more rational ones, but also maybe some motivated by some fear we may not even be aware of. Maybe that’s the nature of the apple that Adam and Eve ate into: this possibility to let our ego, or our reason, lead us.
We then willingly cut ourselves from the innocence of just being ourselves. We also cut ourselves from this wonderful, wise flow.

Maybe we were such innocent people at one time, maybe before language. Language connects people, but also has an uncanny way to disconnect us from reality, from the reality of touching and feeling and smelling.

As a result of this daily practice, I find I throw myself into things with a lot more joy and less agonizing about whether I’m taking on too much, or what other people may think. I used to think a lot about how to behave in tricky situations – now, the right reaction seems to appear fast and clear-. I have no idea what tomorrow will hold, how things will unfold, but I trust more and more that as long as I have this connection, it will all be alright.

Is it silly to put all my faith and trust into this unexplainable little voice and let it direct my life? Who knows? If it brings chaos around me, I’ll revise the situation.
In the meantime, I appreciate the extra feelings of meaning, love and connection!